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There are few movies worse than “Attack of the Clones”, which introduced the terribly miscast Hayden Christensen as the “phase 2” Anakin Skywalker. George Lucas and Jonathan Hales shared screen writing credits for this drivel. Fans of the Star Wars franchise waited fore more than two decades to see the “clone wars” in action and when the time came the action was deferred until the third movie.
One of the most memorable lines from the original “Star Wars” film (before there was an “Episode IV” in the title) was Princess Leia’s message to Obi-wan Kenobi, “General Kenobi. Years ago you served my father during the Clone Wars.” Everyone wanted to know how that came about. Alas! We’ll never know because Obi-Wan Kenobi never served Senator Bail Organa.
But this movie is a second act. It, like the infathomable “The Empire Strikes Back”, sets up everything for the third movie in the prequel trilogy without resolving anything. As movie critics often point out, any second-of-three acts will leave the audience wanting more but feeling disappointed.
“Attack of the Clones” opens 10 years after the death of Qui-Gon Jinn, the Jedi Master who defied the council and introduced the 8-year-old Anakin Skywalker to the life of the Jedi and the ways of the Force. Qui-Gon had correctly identified Anakin as “a vergence in the Force”, a long-prophesied child who would “bring balance to the Force”. The Jedi saw no need for balance because they were convinced they were managing the Force for the galaxy perfectly well.
Supreme Chancellor Palpatine, really the Sith Lord Darth Sidious in disguise, has been manipulating many players on the galaxy-wide playing board he has set up. After ten years he decides it is time to send an assassin to kill newly appointed Senator Padme Amidala, now representative of Naboo to the Galactic Republic’s Senate. The attempts on Padme’s life are only intended to draw Obi-Wan and Anakin into Palpatine’s web. The Sith Lord has waited for his future apprentice to mature to the point where he is ready to be emotionally challenged in preparation for his turning to the Dark Side of the Force.
As the Jedi Council struggles to understand why an assassin is running amok on Coruscant, they learn that someone has managed to hide an entire planet in the Jedi archives. Obi-Wan travels to the edge of the galaxy to learn what is being hidden from the Jedi. It turns out that Master Sifoz-Dyas, a former member of the Jedi Council who has been dead for 10 years, ordered the creation of an army of specially trained clones. Sources outside the movie reveal that Sifo-Dyas foresaw the need for a Grand Army of the Republic. Unfortunately, Darth Sidious took control of the army before the Jedi were even aware of it.
Meanwhile, another Jedi Master, Count Dooku, has turned to the Dark Side of the Force, becoming Palpatine’s new apprentice, Darth Tyranus. Dooku carries on Palpatine’s plan to spark rebellion across the Republic, powered by new droid armies even more menacing than those that had conquered Naboo ten years before.
Obi-Wan and Anakin follow trails that lead them into Count Dooku’s trap. Master Yoda travels to the mysterious planet Karmino to take charge of the clone army, which he uses to rescue Obi-Wan and Anakin, and to disrupt Count Dooku’s rebellion. But Dooku escapes along with key allies and so the “Clone Wars” begin.
This movie introduces many incidental characters who move minor plot points along. It is a plodding, long drawn-out tale that fails to drive home its point. The point appears to be that the Jedi are incapable of realizing they are being manipulated. This is not an observation based in contempt but rather the sum total of the irony that plagues the Jedi: the Force really is out of balance, but they had grown so arrogant they never realized that they were in danger.
There are subtle hints about the Jedi arrogance throughout the movie, but one of the most telling scenes is Obi-Wan’s search of the Jedi archives. He cannot find a trace of a planet that his friend Dexter has told him exists (Kamino). The smug Jedi archivist says that if the planet is not in the archives then it cannot exist.
Later, when Count Dooku interrogates Obi-Wan, Dooku explains truthfully that Darth Sidious controls hundreds of senators. But Yoda is reluctant to take Dooku at his word. And if that is not blunt enough, there is also the scene where Yoda spells it out for everyone: “A flaw more and more common among Jedi. Too sure of themselves they are. Even the older, more experienced ones.”
Everything in this episode is carefully orchestrated by Palpatine, even the kidnapping, torture, and murder of Anakin’s mother (this is revealed in sources outside the movie). By killing Shmi Skywalker Palpatine unlocks Anakin’s rage, dragging him a little bit closer to the Dark Side of the Force.
Sifo Dyas was a rogue Jedi with a good heart. Count Dooku is just a rogue Jedi who has joined the Sith. Dooku pulls the levers that keep the plot moving along but everything he does is planned out by Darth Sidious. As villains go Dooku is not very terrifying. He does not even appear in the first half of the movie.
“Attack of the Clones” also holds the distinction of being the only one of the six Lucas-made Star Wars movies to NOT be the top box office movie for the year in which it was released. The plot twists follow an almost inexplicable and tormented pathway. “The Phantom Menace” was criticized by many people for being too much about Anakin Skywalker and not enough about other characters. But as George Lucas himself has said, “Star Wars is a soap opera. It is about one family.”
The fact that so many books, games, and supplemental shows focus on other characters has distracted the audience from the main story. The first movie had to be about Anakin but the second movie was supposed to be about Anakin winning Padme’s heart. And it was in this awful failed love story that the movie shattered its hopes of being a great Star Wars film.
While Obi-Wan was flitting around the galaxy chasing Jango Fett and assassins, Anakin was escorting Padme back to Naboo in disguise via public transport. Had the dialogue been better written and the acting more competent the love story would have been believable. But by the time Padme blurts out that she loves Anakin it is almost impossible to accept that these are the parents of Luke and Leia Skywalker. There is no chemistry between Hayden Christensen and Natalie Portman.
What makes this movie even more frustrating is that it had the largest budget of all six films. Even allowing for inflation, “Attack of the Clones” delivers less bang for the buck than any of the other movies.
Some of the scenes make perfect sense but the execution is horrible. For example, when Obi-Wan seeks out Yoda’s help in understanding the mystery of the missing planet Yoda incorporates the question into his teaching of “Younglings”. So much about Jedi culture is conveyed in the scene, and yet the dialogue was less compelling than a standard joke on Sesame Street. Capable actors like Ewan MacGregor and Frank Oz should have been able to deliver greater intensity, but it was almost as if the presence of children in the scene compelled them to “act down” to the audience, thus weakening the moment.
Throughout the movie there are glimpses of the Galactic Republic’s culture, from Dex’s diner to the sports bar to the freighter that Anakin and Padme use to travel to Naboo. These snippets of vignettes are too brief or too rough or just too badly executed to give life to the lost cause of the Galactic Republic. The audience is supposed to be passing through a three-film flashback that fills in the back stories for Obi-Wan and Anakin (Darth Vader). These movies are supposed to explain how it comes down to Anakin facing off against his own son. Along the way the audience should see a transformation in the Galactic culture.
Unfortunately we never really got to see what it was like living under the Empire in episodes IV, V, and VI. Instead we were introduced to Luke on a remote desert planet that is still controlled by the criminal Hutts. The lack of a clear vision of what life was like under the Empire made it impossible for movies like “Attack of the Clones” to underscore what was lost when Palpatine seized control over the Senate and proclaimed the Galactic Empire.
Trailer for “Star Wars: Episode II, Attack of the Clones”
Deleted Scenes for “Star Wars: Episode II, Attack of the Clones”
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